


Days Blur

by SoleilVioleta



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Gen, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-08
Updated: 2013-11-08
Packaged: 2017-12-31 21:02:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1036360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoleilVioleta/pseuds/SoleilVioleta





	Days Blur

Your name is Homura Akemi.  
You see nothing but darkness all around (cold). It bogs down your being until you begin to become part of it (heavy). It eats at you little by little (empty), snaking around your head to your face over your hands until –LIGHT- shines through directly into your eyes.  
It’s harsh and unwelcome, a concentrated beam into the abyss of you dying.  
“She fainted but she’s fine now.” He’s saying. Who is this man? It is unimportant.  
“Why did this happen?” Your mother. Formal and floral and quivering. You can see that you’re in the nurses office.  
“You’ll have to take her to a specialist I’m afraid. But I would guess that it’s a heart condition.” A radio crackles. He packs a bag and leaves.  
-  
Your name is Homura Akemi.  
“Honey, you can’t go to school.” Her teeth smile but it’s not reassuring because her eyes don’t wrinkle around the edge.  
You pretend not to see the tears (she pretends too).  
Strong, you have to be strong (you aren’t strong).  
“It’s okay. I didn’t like school anyway.” You slip the enemy paper from her hand and onto the counter (a papercut on your hand why are you so fragile?).  
You lean on the doorframe at the top of the stairs (too tired to finish the trip to the bedroom).  
You turn out the light (you don’t want to be awake).  
-  
Your name is Homura Akemi.  
You are re-entering society today.  
You haven’t been around your peers for years (what do they talk about what do they eat what do they watch on the television how do they speak what is the current fashion).  
You try to calm yourself (too hot).  
You can’t (your heart is beating too fast, too fast, too fast.  
-  
Your name is Homura Akemi.  
You have found Madoka Kaname.  
(Is this what it means to be alive?)  
-  
Your name is Homura Akemi?  
You feel like you might just be a string of actions and properties rather than a person or a name.  
You were once a heart condition.  
You are now a condition of the heart.  
You have put on this same pair of socks over 5,000 times. (They are thin. You wish you’d have outgrown them by now.)  
You have eaten this breakfast over 1,000 times. (It is plain. You have come to hate cold cereal.)  
Would changing cereal or milk or socks or glasses or pencils or doors or hair ribbons help anything? (No.)  
-  
Your name is Homura Akemi.  
You already know you can’t help Yellow, Blue, or Red.  
Pink is what you need.  
Pink is what the world needs.  
Pink is more important that Yellow, Blue, Red, or even Purple.  
But glass shatters, concrete bends, skin breaks, light dies, and you’re left with nothing over and over and over and over and over.  
(You never eat cold cereal.)  
-  
Your name is Homura Akemi.  
Do you really understand what love is?  
You stand over a crying girl and try not to think about the last hundred times you’ve been here. You’re drowning in a sea of her tears (the past, the present, the future).  
But then again she’s been your rain and here you are struggling to grow into a tree strong enough to shade her.  
Lord knows your roots are everywhere, tangled into this dark Earth, tendrils floating into space.  
You’re trying.  
(But will it ever be enough?)  
-  
Your name is Homura Akemi.  
You are tired.  
You see nothing but light all around you (warm). It lifts your being until you become a part of it (weightless). It becomes you little by little (whole), wrapping around your arms embracing your waist until –LIGHT- fades and you are left only with success.  
Ribbons float with you through the fabric of a loving universe and you wake up on a perfect spring afternoon underneath a large sakura tree, perfectly shading your nap.  
You’re going to be late for lunch.  
(The tree rustles when you leave and then remains very still for a long time.)


End file.
